“I want our church to accept transgender people,” the pastor told me early on. He’s from Oklahoma and leads a small congregation that hasn’t even allowed musical instruments in worship for all that long. It seemed like a bit of a reach to me. I think it was our co-founder, Brenna Rubio, who pointed out to him that they might want to start by having women in leadership before moving straight to trans inclusion.
Churches really need a process to have conversations about LGBTQ inclusion - and need it to be both mindful and intentional. Although it’s not rigid, there is indeed a general structure that works better than just jumping into the deep end of the pool.
Regardless of where in the range of options your church ends up regarding LGBTQ inclusion, there’s no question that the journey there will be healthier for everyone if your process is intentional and measured. Think of some of the cautionary tales out there of large organizations that have made missteps very publicly:
- World Vision announced it was extending benefits to same-sex partners, lost about 10,000 child sponsorships, then reversed course and withdrew those benefits.
- Ryan Meeks of EastLake Church was the first mega church pastor to become publicly affirming, and he simply announced the change one Sunday, losing a majority of church members almost immediately.
- InterVarsity Christian Fellowship released its new guidelines around sexuality which was soon called ‘the purge’ for all the staff that were terminated.
A Six Stage Process
There are many ways to engage productively in conversations around LGBTQ inclusion. Churches that do it well end up at different places, but they typically share some common stages along the way. We’re going to unpack the six main stages in the next six weeks of blogs here at Small Church Big Table.
There is a simple blueprint to follow, although the specifics will be different for every church. Here’s an outline of the main stages most journeys include:
1. The leader goes first. Sometimes the process starts with a board member or congregant, but eventually the pastor will need to initiate the journey. Stage 1 focuses on the pastor’s personal reflection and need to become conversant with differing perspectives in the community.
2. The board gets on board. Core staff and the governing board will need to be involved in the process. There are better and worse ways to get them on board.
3. Build a team. There are three main types of discernment teams, each with their own strengths and weaknesses. They will need some training and a scope and sequence for their process.
4. Understand your context. Every congregation holds theological diversity. The key is to wisely acknowledge and leverage that to make for a better process that unites instead of divides.
5. Do the work. The discernment team works through the questions, using key tools to build towards unity in the presence of diverse perspectives.
6. Decide and disseminate. Building off of best practices of churches with similar approaches, the team gets to clarity and articulates it. The governing body (board/congregation) votes. There’s lots of good communication.
What Journey is for You?
Some leaders may want to explore LGBTQ inclusion in the sense of holding to their existing approach but doing so more graciously. If that’s you, a group like Posture Shift, which holds to the traditional definition of marriage, may be a great resource. They don’t focus on theological position or exploration, but on the posture Christians take towards our LGBTQ siblings.
There are also organizations that work with churches already committed to becoming fully affirming. For example, denominational groups like More Light Presbyterians, Reconciling Ministries Network and Room For All are staffed and ready to help.
Our approach is different. Small Church Big Table serves churches who want to spend time in scripture and discernment to discover their own approach to inclusion within their context. Small Church Big Table creates a safe space for these leaders, and we’ve curated a curriculum for guidance. We don’t have our own predetermined agenda for churches to become affirming or traditional (or any other outcome).
Subscribe here to get the next six blogs in your inbox to learn more about how to go on this journey in ways that are healthy and unifying.
-Bill
Read the next post in this series: Stage 1 (Leadership)